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Don't read it, too many words.

June 25, 2012

I don't have any pictures or exciting news to share. This is another post that's really just for me.

Last week I went to Seven Peaks with Justin, Tanner, and Jayme. I had so much fun. We got two double tubes and rode each of the slides at least once. We took a break just to lie in the sun and spent some time in the wave pool. We were smart to go on a Tuesday so it wasn't too crowded. I'm glad we all had a chance to spend time together before these boys head to Europe to serve their missions.

Speaking of.. Today was the last time I'll see Justin for two years. We came to be really good friends these past few months. He's one of the most thoughtful friends I have, and I'll miss having him here to cheer me up when I need it most. I'll miss exploring parts of Utah County that are so familiar to him and so brand new to me. Meg and I went to hear his farewell talk on Sunday, and if I wasn't already convinced he'd be a great missionary.. Well, he did a really great job. I guess sending letters to Hungary will be worth the price of international stamps.

Henry and I rode our bikes to the lake this past weekend. The whole trail leads you right along the river. It's such a calm, quiet ride. Parts of it really reminded me of Illinois, and why am I tearing up right now? We were down there right around sunset, and I want that to be a weekly part of my summer life in Provo from this point forward.

I also got new grips for the handles on my bike. One of these days she'll have a post dedicated just to her. I wish I had taken a before picture because I'm going to make her really pretty for her upcoming photoshoot. Anyway, it's something for us all to look forward to.

Being in a ward with older students really has its perks sometimes. I might be viewed as a total baby - because I am, and happy to be so - but these people teach me a lot. Yesterday in Sacrament Meeting one guy was speaking about how when we study the scriptures we're studying for the benefit of our future family. It really made me start thinking. Because isn't that how it is with everything I'm doing? Every lesson I learn from the scriptures, every new skill I develop, every meal I learn to cook, everything I do has the potential to really affect the family I'll have someday. It's how they say you need to be the type of person you want to marry. In this moment, I am very much not that person. Then what am I doing if not spending all my time trying to become who I want to be? The best way to become the person you want to be is to be the person you want to become. Someone said that once.

I love living so close to the temple. Every time I go there I feel great. I feel calm. I feel as if I know what to do, and I feel very resolved to do it. Then I leave the temple. and the rest of the day is usually really great, but by the time tomorrow comes I sort of forget I was supposed to change something.

I think the reality of my "problems" here is that I know exactly what I need to do to be better, to be happier, to be where I want to be in my life. I need to set my goals, make some plans, and do them.

"I will seek to learn by what I hear, see, and feel. I will write down the important things I learn, and I will do them." - Elder Richard G. Scott

I need to remember that "We are not physical beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a physical experience." - Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

And in closing, the past year of my life has been at multiple times one big identity crisis for me. Aside from my testimony which I don't feel like I want to post right here right now, here's a list of.. you know, me. just for my own reassurance that I do in fact know myself.

I like being outside. I love running and walking and biking and lying in the grass.
I'm from Illinois. I love that, too.
BYU. It's my school and I love everything about it. I love school sports and school spirit, cheesy dating stories, free activities on campus, campus in general, religion classes, ward prayers, and hiking the Y. I won't be here forever, I'm going to embrace it while I am.
The Creamery. I'm becoming one of those people I said I never would. The ones who love the Creamery and talk about it all the time and really care about what's going on there even after I leave.
I love ice cream. vanilla bases with stuff in it. I really only like Creamery ice cream these days.
I like cheeseburgers, pineapple, juice, vanilla yogurt, and water.
I like pastels, nail polish, colored jeans, and keds.
blue eyes.
I like to donate blood.
I want to learn to sew and play the piano.
I want to go somewhere new next winter semester.
Sometimes, I really like quiet. I like being alone.
"Why is it such a crime to be quiet? Why do people seem to think that silence is ground for being hurt, or offended, and think that you should say something, anything, even when you have nothing to say?"
I've never been in love. I may or may not be scared of it.
I use a lot of hairspray.
I like musicals.
I want to keep folk dancing in the fall.
I like to sleep.

I need to start becoming that person I always tell myself I'll be when I grow up. I need to realize that this is my real life, and it's moving fast.

3 comments :

Denise said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

you will NEVER cease to amaze me...the YOU you are now is pretty dang awesome (says Hot Diggity!)

Lesa said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

You sound just like the Erin I know and Love! You may continue to evolve... but don't ever really change :)

Jake Emmett said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Sorry, I read it and I liked it. I love the quote from Pierre Teilhard de Chardin (was he Mormon?).

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