one more about the little dear.

January 30, 2014

[I just found this post from the summer I never posted because I never finished. So now I'm going to finish it.]

I decided I do have a third Aurora post left in me, if only because I've been missing Disney a lot lately.

The only part of my princess experience I have yet to write on here is the fact that this wasn't a job that ever came easy, or one I ever really felt comfortable doing. Part of that definitely comes from only being there a few months. There probably wasn't enough time for me to become a pro. But the other part of it I know just comes from inside me. 

I'm not terribly confident in my acting skills or improvisational, creative story-telling skills or make-up skills or self-esteem skills if those are a thing.. I think it's understandable to struggle with the acting and improv part of it. That's a lot of pressure, you know? To portray these timeless characters. But, the other stuff - the make-up and the self-esteem and body image - those are real struggles, too. They were for me, anyway.

There are a lot of girls "working with" the Disney princesses. It's impossible not to compare them all - especially once you have the chance to become one of them. Everything gets compared - from face shape to smiles to waist size to how perfectly the make-up guidelines are followed to how fast she moves from guest to guest to picture poses and oh my goodness, being a princess wasn't always glamorous. The other girls weren't always nice. Some days were really, really hard.

In the beginning I hated how I looked in my costume - wig, make-up, dress, all of it. I didn't look like
Aurora. I looked like me. Me with too much make-up and too much hair and a frumpy, ill-fitting dress.

People always ask me if I would do the Disney College Program again. And that is so tough to answer. I might do it again because I would be a little more comfortable, I would have a little bit clearer of an idea what I was doing and how to do it all better. I would also love to move up and make it into shows and parades. But then again maybe I wouldn't do it because of all the things that made it so, so hard. The realist in me says I wouldn't do it again because there are too many other amazing things in this world I still need to try. Who knows.

In the end I'm grateful I was blessed with the opportunity, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I made some incredible friends, learned so much about myself, and.. had a chance to play all over Disneyworld for a few months.

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