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on self worth.

September 28, 2014

I've been thinking about self worth this week. I've.. been thinking about a lot of things this week. Here's what I think. This week.

"We lose sight of who we are when we try to conform to what we think society expects of us." I read that as part of an assignment for schoool. And isn't true!? I always talk about - or at least I always think about and sometimes talk about - how I feel like I've been struggling with an identity crisis ever since I started college. I've admitted that I came to BYU ready to claim my zoobie status because I thought that's what it meant to be a BYU student. I thought that's what the BYU society expected of me. But then I got here and met great people who weren't like that and thought maybe I didn't want that for myself either. Still always clinging to it a little bit though.. Then of course I dated a few different guys who all had different personalities, so as any girl would do (hopefully not! totally kidding! but hey, it happens..) I subconsciously or maybe consciously tried to be who I thought they expected me to be. Which, believe it or not, was not always that zoobie personality. But sometimes it was. Who am I!?

What I'm trying to say is, that quote about losing sight of who we are rings so true for me. I think for awhile I totally lost sight of who I was because I was too busy paying attention to who everyone else was. I was too busy trying to decide who I wanted to be like. And that was absolutely detrimental to my self worth. I was trying to be all these things, not knowing which I really was and which I was faking. I never felt like I was good enough because I never felt like I fit anywhere.

Okay, so I've realized all that and now I can fix it - great! Greeeeaattt.. Because everyone knows once you set out to achieve a righteous goal, the adversary is immediately out to get you. And yes, I do believe discovering who you really are and valuing yourself as you really are, are righteous goals. I believe I'm a daughter of God, I have a divine nature, I am valued and loved and worth a whole lot to.. well, at least a few people. 

So lately I've been focusing on my self-worth. I've been trying to develop some talents I think I have. I've been focusing on recognizing what I'm good at, what makes me unique, what matters the most to me, how I want to be better, who I care about the most and how I can be there for them. I've been trying so hard to be positive and focus on the good and not get down on myself when little things go wrong. 

And then there was this past week. This whole week where I felt so targeted and attacked and inadequate. But I still clung to what I was working for! I still tried to focus on what I was doing right. I still tried so hard - and it was so hard - to shake off the people or events or feelings that were making me feel worthless. And I did okay. I'm feeling good again.

I just really want to say that it is so true - the minute you begin to work toward a righteous goal or something that will make you happy, you'll find more setbacks than ever. But whatever good thing it is you're doing, keep doing it. You need it and the world needs it and it matters. You matter. And you are good enough! No, people always say that. "You are enough." But you aren't just "enough." You're better! We are all more than just "enough." We are so much! We are all worth so much. Don't ever lose sight of who you are. And if you have, let's hang out. We'll remember together.

So, amen.

2 comments :

Jake said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Great post! I love your message and I love the picture. It's so...you!

Denise said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Oh Erin! GREAT words...always great words! I love you...you are MORE THAN ENOUGH! Stefan is a lucky man to have you! I know you always praise his wonderfulness, and that is great! THAT is who you are! But I'm so happy to hear you say it about YOU! It is what we ALL believe...and great pic!!!

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