wherever you go, go with all your heart

September 02, 2014

Both of my parents and a huge part of my extended family are proud Utah State Aggies. Despite spending every single family vacation of my whole life visiting family in Logan, Utah.. I have always wanted to go to BYU. Well, at least ever since I realized I had to start thinking about college. I can't say I've dreamt of BYU since my diapers days, but it is safe to say that during my four years of high school I literally wanted nothing more than to be accepted to Brigham Young University (Provo, duh. BYU-Idaho and I were never going to happen).

I even remember visiting my older sister in Provo when I was still in high school. I had just bought a new cap sleeved, mid-calf length dress from DownEast Basics, and we had tickets to General Conference. I was so excited about being in Provo, wearing my awesome modest dress, going to Conference for the first time. My sister looked me up and down and told me I was already a zoobie (see also: BYU student who lives and breathes for their school. a sheltered follower. just another hormone-crazed social activities junkie.) I had never received a better compliment in my LIFE.

Then it happened! One February morning during my senior year of high school, I opened that blessed e-mail accepting me into the school of my dreams. I started classes a month after I graduated high school.

But now I have to admit something. I have to admit one of my biggest flaws, I do! It's really awful. See, I have a major "the grass is always greener" problem. I think I am generally a happy person, but I constantly find myself wanting things I don't have. Wanting to be somewhere I'm not. Has anyone been around long enough to remember when this blog was called "The grass is always greener wherever you water it?" Because I am always having to remind myself of that! 

My first summer at BYU, I regretted choosing to live in the dorm I did; I thought everyone on the other side of campus was having more fun, and I was missing out. And that was only the beginning. Over the past three years at this school I have consistently found myself wishing I was living somewhere else, taking different classes, working a different shift, at times even going to a different school - what!?

BYU is my school! BYU is everything I wanted, everything I still want! (sidebar: BYU is not perfect, something I have come to realize in my time here. But it is still a great school with so much to offer me, academically and spiritually.) I have struggled so much with my messed up mindset these past few years. Feeling down about my situation, then reminding myself that this is what I wanted and it's up to me to make the best of it, reminding myself that it's up to me to make the best of my life! Happiness is a choice, Erin! The grass is greener wherever I water it! I said that! (Okay, I didn't come up with it. But I used it, I believed it!)

So, this year things are going to be different. I talked with Stefan about it, and he agrees. This year we are both going to really be at BYU. This year we want to pay a little bit more attention in class, get a few better grades, go to as many games and events and devotionals as we can fit, spend time with friends who will graduate and move on soon. I have a new job on campus that is going to force me to spend more time in the main student center and attend a ton of events I'll be helping to plan, and I have classes I'm actually excited for this semester! Adios, business school prereqs! See ya never!

I don't believe BYU is "the Lord's school" or anything too pompous like that. I am also definitely no longer a zoobie. Right? No mean comments about that one, please. I think zoobies are a dying breed anyway. Everyone is an apathetic hipster now. But not me! I love my school. I have had some of the best years of my life here, and I'm going to be leaving soon. I want to leave this place remembering all the best parts the most clearly. 

And so if I were to give myself a theme for this school year  - alright, I am - and it's going to be this:

BYU: this year, I'm all in. Come at me, first day of school!


Jake said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Great post. Thanks! While I may not have had this attitude in college, I did (somewhat) in high school. I remember riding up the ski lift at Beaver with good family friend Brian Burnett. He's Bob's age and had graduated high school at that time. His advice to me, a sophomore, I think, was to be as involved as possible in school. So I joined the pep club—no, not really—but I did run for student offices, joined various clubs including the science club, and had a great high school experience. Enjoy BYU and if nothing else you (and Ben) have converted to a BYU fan. Aggies, first but BYU second. While maybe third after Penn State. But, that's a major upgrade from my 'bottom of the barrel' view of BYU a few years ago.

Lesa Emmett said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Love this post! I agree with it wholeheartedly. I need to think this way about Charleston; while I didn't wish to live here, I do. And when I get involved and look for the good I'm much happier. And, did you paint that sign, because I LOVE IT!

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