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twenty-two thoughts

December 04, 2014

Today is my twenty-second birthday. The past year of my life has literally been the best one yet. I spent the first few months planning our wedding, we got married!, I travelled internationally for the first time, had four different jobs and lived in two different states, flossed daily for ten point five months (and then missed last night!?), and miraculously passed that finance class last semester. There is definitely a lot I could write about to commemorate this past, most wonderful, year.

As I've thought more about what to write on my birthday and save onto the internet forever, I realized I know what is actually the most important thing to say. I realized what I've spent the most time thinking about and learning and living all my twenty-two years. The thing I most want to remember about myself on my twenty-second birthday, the thing I most want to say to everyone who may read my blog, the thing I most want my future kids to know about their mama when she was twenty-two, is this: 

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Much, much more importantly than that, I know Jesus Christ is my Savior. I have an unwavering testimony that Jesus Christ lived, suffered, and died for me, and you, and everyone human to ever take a breath on this earth. I am a Christian not just today, or until the day I die, but forever.

I am not a perfect person, not a perfect Christian. I struggle every single day with doing the wrong things and then not doing the right things (see also: flossing). The thoughts in my head are constantly being used to judge others, to suddenly think of a kind thing I could do for someone and then just quickly dismiss it with a lame justification. Believe me, I'm trying my best. But I am nowhere, nowhere near perfect. Fortunately for me, I have a Savior who is. Every single day I get another chance to try harder to be better because my Savior loves me and gave me that gift.

I believe The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the Lord's true church restored on earth. Although today we have a prophet and countless other incredible church leaders, Christ is the true and only head. I know Christ's gospel is perfect. However, the leaders of Christ's church and the way they run it may not always be. They are only human, but they try their best, just like all of us. Joseph Smith restored Jesus Christ's perfect gospel to the earth, but I will never expect the church - led by humble and striving, but imperfect servants - to be perfect. I don't have any issue whatsoever with the fact that - especially in the early days of the church's restoration - leaders of this church weren't and aren't and won't be perfect, until Christ Himself returns to earth to rule and lead and reign. If everyone and everything in the church were perfect, that would be way too easy. There comes a point when we need to rely on our faith in the Savior. He really is the answer to it all.

When it comes to my role as a woman in this world, in my church, in my family, I feel completely respected and valued and loved. Maybe this is because I've never really had dreams of a successful career outside the home, I've never had to work my way up from a difficult place, I've never personally been hurt or disrespected because I'm a woman. I know this isn't the same for other women in the world or in my church - it probably isn't even the same for most of those women. I know there are women who hurt and suffer. So I also want to make it very clear that I know it is one of the greatest blessings I have, to feel the way I do and to be treated the way I am.

My highest goal and top priority for the rest of my life is to be the world's best wife and mother. It is my dream, my wish, my only real desire to be a mom and raise great, happy kids. And it isn't because anyone told me that's what I should want. That is what my heart and spirit crave. I know that is one of my major purposes - if not my most important purpose - in life, and I love it. I cannot wait to be a mother.

And on the topic of families, I think I fall into that group: "people who get married young" and believe me when I say there is no other group for me. There are definitely lots of other groups that work for lots of other people. And I don't mean to say I had some weird goal to get married young. That's just how it worked out for me, and I don't regret it even one tiniest bit. Being married is the best thing to ever happen to me, I am a better person because of it. Seriously, times a hundred. I used to be awful and sometimes I still am, but Stefan and marriage make me better every day.

I have a beautiful life. I am healthy, happy, loved, in love, educated, employed. I hope I never forget how blessed I am and how I owe all of it to my Heavenly Father, my Savior, and my family. I hope I always do my best to help other people feel and know and become these things that make me so happy. Guys, I am so happy. It's been a really great twenty-two years.

1 comment :

Lesa Emmett said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I can't tell you how happy this post makes me as your mom. My goals have always been much the same as yours; to be the worlds best wife and mother. To see our children sealed in the temple to wonderful companions, living the gospel and doing so much good; it's the definition of Joy.

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