June 09, 2015

On my way home from campus I picked up a carton of orange juice for my sick husband. I poured him a glass right when I walked in the door and delivered it to him where I knew he would be, in the bed. Poor boy. I ate a quick dinner and talked on the phone with my sister. Then I finished some homework, but made myself stop at seven thirty so I could go for a run. When I made it back home I took a shower and did the dishes, took out the trash and cleaned the kitchen floor. Then I dried my hair and got ready for bed. 

It all felt so good. So good. I like to be busy - especially around the house. I love the feeling of making our home cleaner than it was. More peaceful and welcoming and comfortable. And I love taking care of Stefan. I love it. 

One time I broke up with Stefan for four days. Stupid. Actually not stupid, it turned out to be really necessary for me. But part of the reason I realized I wanted and needed him back was that I realized I loved taking care of him. I loved thinking about him, I loved helping him, I loved packing extra snacks in my backpack for him. 

Stefan has made me a better person in a million ways, and one of those ways is that right now I am the most caring and thoughtful I have ever been in my life. I'm not saying I'm especially caring or thoughtful. But I'm better than I was and I owe it to my husband. 

He's over there on the bed sniffling right now, and I think he needs my snuggles.

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